We all have low moments in life, times when we aren’t sure what to do or how things will work out. In these desperate moments, I have at times tended to think I’m alone and that there is no help for me. Yet, my experience has been that God proves His fidelity by being right there beside me, even when I can’t see Him; He always sees me “under the fig tree”.
Nathaniel’s Moment “under the fig tree”
Nowhere in the Bible does it say what Nathaniel was doing under the fig tree the day Jesus saw Him. It is obvious that Nathaniel didn’t see Jesus there, since he was so surprised at Our Lord’s comment. I have often wondered what Nathaniel was doing, thinking, praying at that moment. He must have thought himself to be quite alone, yet he wasn’t.
My Moment “under the fig tree”
One moment in my life that often comes to my mind is a time many years back, before I had made my decision to become Catholic. At that time of my life I did feel very alone. Despite knowing that family and friends cared about me deeply, life circumstances had pushed me to ask some existential questions that I may never have delved into otherwise. I was also in my first year of college, searching for what to do with my life.
One day I was feeling particularly lonely, and I found myself in front of a Catholic Church. Wanting some privacy, I tried the door, which was open! I wandered up to the very front pew of an empty church, knelt down and looked up at the crucifix hanging above the tabernacle. In that moment, all the searching and frustration bottled up in my heart came pouring out in this prayer: “Lord, tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll try it! Whatever it is, it has to be better than this!”
After spending some time in that church, I left with a peacefulness I hadn’t had before. It was an experience a bit like what Nathaniel in the Gospel must have had. He was under the fig tree; I was under the tree of the cross.
Your Moment “under the fig tree”
What is your moment? Think of a time in your life when you couldn’t see clearly or know with certainty. Now, zoom out, and look for God. Where was He in this moment? Don’t look far away, go close, and you will find He was right beside you, perhaps even holding you close.
Thank you so much Nicole! Quite insightful. I found peace reading your refections.
Love this reflection, Nicole. I’ve always loved that line from the Gospels in which Jesus tells Nathanael He saw him “under the fig tree.” Thank you for inviting us to reflect upon our own “fig tree” moments. I have had many, as I’m sure most of us had. Thank you for sharing your own, “under the tree of the cross.” It reminds me of one I had many years ago when I walked into a Catholic church while backpacking through Europe. You are right, the Lord is very close to us in those moments. God bless.