Today’s Gospel reading focuses our attention on marriage. It is the first sacrament instituted by God. This sacramental union of love between a man and a woman willed by God takes its origin from the book of Genesis. In Genesis 1: 26-27 we read: “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them”. Our God is a God of relationship and not solitary God. This brings into perspective the doctrine of the Most Holy Trinity: One God in three persons. God’s original intention for man and woman is that they maintain such a deep, intimate relationship comparable to that which exists within the Trinity. And because Trinity is a communion of love, marriage should also be a communion of love between a man and a woman.
Sin Caused the Fall
Unfortunately, the reality of sin came into the world out of the jealousy of the evil one. The fall of Adam and Eve is the prototype of the conflictual relation that we experience today in our society between man and woman. Instead of living in a relationship of complementarity and mutual support, couples (men and women) experience conflictual rapport characterized by domination, seduction, infidelity, mutual accusation etc. And in some cases, these lead to divorce.
The question of divorce was one of the major preoccupations of the Pharisees. They knew quite well the teachings of Moses on this matter.1 However they had wanted to know Jesus’ position on so they asked him “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatsoever?”. In response, Jesus goes beyond the legal question and focuses the attention on God’s initial plan for man and woman. He concluded his teaching by saying: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Divorce as permitted by Moses was a consequence of hardness of the hearts of people.
Because Jesus came to accomplish the laws and not to abolish, He goes beyond the law of Moses. He was quite aware of all the difficulties couples go through, all their struggles to remain one. His teaching which inspires the teachings of the Church on marriage remains quite challenging today as it was in the past. In the light of Jesus’ teaching, the Catholic Church teaches us that “Between the baptized a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death”.2
Marriage is Challenging
To affirm the sacredness and beauty of Catholic marriage against the modern trends that promotes divorce is quite a big challenge for us. At the end of Jesus’ teaching even his disciples were stunned and said, “if this is the case of man with his wife, it is better not to marry”. Affirming this truth for Jesus does not mean that he is indifferent to the sufferings of married men and women. Jesus showed himself so close to the wounds of the human heart. He said gently to the adulteress woman: “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again”.
We remember that Jesus entrusted a mission to the Samaritan woman while she was with her sixth husband. So, His attitude should be our guideline in appreciating marriage and its challenges. We must understand the distress of so many weakened, distorted and shattered couples. And keep, as a beacon for our journey, the courageous words of Jesus. He speaks the truth without condemning; rather He shows mercy. We can sympathize with the suffering of so many spouses who live their love as a failure, and work, in hope, to consolidate the work of God, with the light.
We can receive today’s Gospel message as a call for the Church to remain supportive of couples, pray for broken and wounded families, and continue to work in helping couples– especially those who live separated either from their husband or wife and who today cannot have access to the Holy Eucharist.
1 Indeed, in Deuteronomy 24, 1-4 Moses gave the conditions under which men can divorce their wives. 2 Catechism of Catholic Church (CCC n°2382)
Thank you Fr. Alex. I will pass this onto my newly engaged step-daughter as she plans her marriage. Ironically, her fiance is named Alex too. Please pray they marry in the Church, and receive the abundance of fruit the sacrament of matrimony offers. I would very much appreciate prayers for this intention.
Thank you, Father Alex, for this honest and insightful reflection on marriage! It is encouraging to know that Our Lord was fully aware of the challenges and even trials of marriage, but also its sacred value. I liked your line, “Jesus showed himself so close to the wounds of the human heart.” I will keep all this in mind today. God bless.