… before Abraham ever was, I Am

Generation After Generation: I longed to be a part of the story, to take my place among the men, beside my father as a child of Abraham. I knew our people were different, they were beloved of the Lord, bound to Him forever. He gave us the land and He gave us children. The land he gave us was to be our possession forever and the children of Abraham would number as many as the stars of heaven.

This was the ‘Covenant in perpetuity,’ He would be our God and the God of our descendants, giving to us and our descendants ‘the land you are living in, the whole land of Canaan, to own in perpetuity,’ and He would be our God.

I sat down with the other boys, chanting the familiar story of our faith,

‘The Lord remembers his covenant for ever.

‘Consider the Lord and his strength;

constantly seek his face.

Remember the wonders he has done,

his miracles, the judgements he spoke.

The Lord remembers his covenant for ever.

O children of Abraham, his servant,

O sons of the Jacob he chose.

He, the Lord, is our God:

his judgements prevail in all the earth.’

Children of Abraham

We were not like other people. We were the Lord’s own people forever, separated from the impurity of everyone around us. We were not like those people. We did ‘consider the Lord,’ and we lived by His law, in the midst of pagan people.

Encounter

When the news about the Teacher reached us, I was eager to go and hear him and went with my brother to join the crowds who followed him. I do not know how he held his listeners within his words. The crowd of people of all ranks and ages just fell into silence as he opened his mouth. Even before he uttered a word, they were drawn to him, like children clustering round a storyteller.

When he spoke, however, we were appalled. We thought he must be demon-possessed, assuming such power and authority, speaking about the Lord as His Father and seeming to claim power over life and death. His words were an affront to our fathers and to our faith and I began to weep in sorrow and shame:

‘I tell you most solemnly,

whoever keeps my word

will never see death.’

My brother spoke up,

’Now we know for certain that you are possessed. Abraham is dead, and the prophets are dead, and yet you say, “Whoever keeps my word will never know the taste of death.” Are you greater than our father Abraham, who is dead? The prophets are dead too. Who do you think you are?’

The question hung in the air for a moment which seemed like hours. The sun still shone, and birds flew overhead but the work of creation paused in that moment. Then the reply came, and we were devastated.

‘… My Father, whom you claim as your God, is the one who glorifies me. … you do not know him, I know him… and obey his word. Your father Abraham rejoiced at the thought of seeing my day; he saw it and was glad.”

There could only be one response. Our people must be purified from this blasphemy and as Jesus took upon himself the very sacred Name,

“ … before Abraham was born, I Am!’

Echoed

I picked up a stone from the ground; only this man’s blood could cleanse the sin before us. I felt the sharp stone in my palm, but my tears blinded me, and I dropped it. As he disappeared from my sight his words echoed inside me. I was a boy again and I recognized him in the words I chanted,

‘Consider the Lord and his strength;

constantly seek his face.

Remember the wonders he has done,

his miracles, the judgements he spoke.

The Lord remembers his covenant forever.

O children of Abraham, his servant,

O sons of the Jacob he chose.

He, the Lord, is our God:

his judgements prevail in all the earth.’

[Readings: Gn 17:3-9; Jn 8:51-59]

Deborah van Kroonenburg

I am a Secular Carmelite, mother and grandmother, worked in the NHS for many years as a midwife and health visitor, and now work for my UK Diocese, in Marriage and Family Life and Catechesis, as well as helping my husband who is a Deacon in our parish.

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