In May, I fell and broke both of my wrists. Other GVM contributors have graciously stepped in to fill my Day 18 reflections for the past few months. To them, thank you! The long story short is that I quite literally was without use of my arms and hands for a bit. I learned very quickly the importance of community, whether it be family or friends or both. I was able to witness the gift of a lifetime in having others in the Body of Christ be my hands and feet in a very intimate and mortifying way. It is overwhelming, even thinking about it now, the goodness and charity and generosity and love that we received. The outpouring of grace is something I do not know if I will ever adequately be able to describe. I fail to translate the gratitude and humility we feel.
Joy
This suffering was very inconvenient as a wife and mother of eight children. And, while I still am human, I can say, there is immeasurable joy in suffering! I remember at one point saying to my mother, “How have I not gone crazy yet?!” Surely, it was the prayers, masses, sacrifices, Adoration hours, and rosaries of those lifting us up and carrying us through this.
When I read today’s second reading, I thought, how fitting that this would be one of the readings for my first entry back at GVM. St. Paul tells the Ephesians, “Watch carefully how you live, not as foolish persons but as wise, making the most of the opportunity, because the days are evil.” He continues, “Therefore, do not continue in ignorance, but try to understand what is the will of the Lord.”
Opportunity
God gave me the opportunity to suffer, to suffer greatly. A tremendous task that I do not mean to downplay, but to acknowledge as an occasion to use the hardship for the glory of God, for souls in purgatory, for lost souls, the list goes on. I did my best and continue to make the most of the opportunity as St. Paul suggested.
There is a lot of trust needed in the surrender that is required for something like the loss of the use of one’s hands. I encourage you to pray the Litany of Trust if you do not already. Surrendering can be very difficult for some. Yet, I assure you there is great peace in giving it over to God. Carry your crosses for Him and at the very same time give Him your everything.
Give Thanks
St. Paul ends by saying, “giving thanks always and for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father.” Yes, he tells us to thank God for not just the good, but the suffering as well. Instead of a “why did this happen to me” attitude, shift your outlook to, “use me Lord Jesus, use all of it for your good. Amen.”
Wow! Thanks for this testimony, Joanne. I can’t imagine what it was like to go through your days without being able to use your hands. It sounds like you entered into a new level of surrender. And it’s powerful to hear that you still found joy in the suffering! Hope all is healed now. I love that you offered your suffering for souls in need. God bless.