But they did not understand the saying, and they were afraid to question him. Mark 9:32
Understanding our faith can be complex! I would hope that I am not just speaking for myself. During my years of college, I wrestled with the teachings of the Catholic Church among many other trends. In the Gospel today, Jesus tells the disciples that the Son of God will experience death yet rise victoriously. This must have sounded so obscure and unusual to the followers. Although, those that closely followed Jesus knew of His vast miracles and how much He sought out the sinner and the shattered. The disciples saw and encountered Jesus in his ministry. Most likely the disciples themselves were healed and reconciled in some way as they established their relationship with Jesus. Yet, they couldn’t grasp the striking words of Jesus foretelling his own death.
What Exactly?
How often do we not understand the intricate details of our Catholic faith or rather how ordinary things play out from day to day? What exactly did the disciples not understand by this assertion of Jesus? Was it the death? The strength of man? Whether the Son of Man was really Jesus or not? Was this just another parable of Jesus? The possibilities are undetermined.
Early on in my reversion to the faith, I was too afraid to ask my Catholic acquaintances why we believe what we do. I was ashamed most of the time, because as a cradle Catholic “I should have known better.” When we are faced with something challenging, what is it that we are really questioning? Maybe we have a lot of walls built up or pride. I believe that was part of the reason that kept me from understanding faith or life. It wasn’t until my spiritual mentor in college encouraged me to approach the spiritual life, the challenges in life, and the disagreements I came upon with the question why, instead of how or what. With assurance, the who, what, when, where, and how can be significant to processing and navigating life, but the why carries weight.
Taking a child, he placed it in their midst, and putting his arms around it he said to them, “Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but the One who sent me.” Mark 9:36-37
He Receives All
Jesus receives us all, in our entirety! The joyful, the despairing, and the envious side of us. He encountered men of all kinds during his public ministry and by that encounter people experienced the abundant mercy and love of Jesus, or even so to say God’s embrace. When you don’t understand and when you are too afraid, allow yourself to be like a child- fully embraced by God. Something that I am still challenged with is to ask myself the why’s to my why’s.
Don’t be afraid to dig deeper into why with God. I can only imagine that he wants us to get messy with our why just as an innocent young child inundates a parent with “why” regarding anything and everything. Only in that He can undo the knots of our life, whether spiritual or not, into the warm embraces of clarity, peace, and comfort.
Prayer
The act of spending time in mental prayer is no easy task for me; however, I know that it is good because of the guidance of Mother Church, particularly the examples of Saints. I ponder if the more facets we bring to God in prayer, the more we could see his face and hand at work in our lives. As he receives all of us, let us in return, bring all to Him. As years have passed since my time in college, my relationship with Him has been more sustainable as I’ve grown in vulnerability in prayer.
Let’s resolve to bring our why’s to God in prayer this week and see what blessing he has in store for us! I invite you to listen to the song, “Out of Hiding” by Steffany Gretzinger. I find it rather fitting to the Gospel.
