Have you ever faced an imminent crisis or confrontation which fills you with dread? Perhaps you have found yourself on the edge of some event that might change your life entirely. I believe that we all wrangle with such moments in life. The question arises, what do we do when we come to the precipice and realize there is nothing more we can do? These are moments when the weight of the cross and our aloneness in carrying it become very real for us.
Giving Away the Last Bit
Today’s readings echo with the refrain of poverty. It is one thing to speak generally of poverty, and another entirely to live it out to the last dry crust of bread. We read of the prophet Elijah who is called by the Lord to ask for a meal from a widow at Zarephath. She replies that she has only enough flour and oil left for one last meal, and after that she and her son will simply die. Consider how dire her straits are at this point. What would it be like to have rationed her food all those months and then finally to sit down to those last scraps of food, knowing that after this there is nothing left? Here is the real terror of poverty, realizing one stands at a precipice beyond which lies only death—or so it would seem. For miraculously, when the woman gives away that last tiny portion of food to Elijah, he brings forth abundance.
Out of Her Poverty
Similarly, in the Gospel passage, we read of how Jesus observes the widow coming into the temple and offering her very last two half-pennies. He extols her gift as greater than the donations of the rich men, for she has given “out of her poverty,” while they have given out of their surplus. Here, we are invited to consider what it means to come to that state of having nothing but these two half-pennies left. Consider what it means to give away those last coins. It is a true stepping off the ledge into a realm of uncertainty. Freely, she sheds even these last pieces of security out of love for God. What lies beyond this day, how she will manage to live without any money to her name, remains unknown. It would seem only death awaits. Yet even in this lonely state of poverty, the widow opens her hands to God and takes that final step off.
Confident Surrender
Do we have such courage, such confidence in the providence of God? When we come to the ledges in our life, are we willing to shed even those last trappings of security in order to surrender totally to His will? The beauty of this story is that Jesus sees the widow when she is most alone; and it is in that delicate tension between one’s own lack, the sense of having absolutely nothing left in reserve, and the ability to step forward even into the abyss, entrusting oneself completely to God, that the most brilliant miracles flower forth.
I am convinced that each day offers us these opportunities for total surrender, both little and small. As creatures of flesh, we each wrestle with the uncertainties of life, and try as we might to secure ourselves against them, the reality of our poverty—whether spiritual, financial, or moral—declares itself anew each day. Utterly alone in those moments, we have two choices before us: either we can wallow in dread of what is to come, or we can offer even our “last two pennies” as an offering to the Lord. It is here at these times of total poverty, here at the edge of ruin, that we come to learn the true meaning of surrender: for we plunge not into an abyss, but into the loving arms of the Father.
