Peter Speaks: I recall a day of foreboding. I see my Lord, see my Messiah, see the way He dies and see the way of the Cross clearly set out before us. At this moment I do not know how to follow Him, but I have to trust Him. He will hold me up, He will take me with Him and, come whatever, He will restore me in His love.
Prelude
We are outside Bethsaida, and I see Jesus lay His hands on the blind man’s eyes and as He lifts them from him the man’s eyes open. He looks out at a world he cannot fathom, even though he sees it. I watch and Jesus touches him again, placing his hands over his eyes and then lifting them away. I see that healing take place, moment by moment until the man sees Truth, gazing into the face of the Lord.
Later, as we walk on, Jesus questions us. He asks us who people say He is, and He asks us who we say He is.
Oh, my Lord, I see, I see you. I see the Truth and I speak that truth, ‘You are the Messiah.’
But He lays his finger on my lips. I must not speak about this now. I must listen.
But to listen is to obey and this, the thing He tells me next, this I will not admit into my mind. I drew Him aside to me. ‘No! No, not my Lord. Not rejection, not suffering and death.’ And He turns on me and rebukes me,
‘Get behind me, Satan!’
The Way of the Cross
Now He calls the others back to Him. I tremble as He begins to speak. I can see, in the eyes of my mind, the Anointed One walking up a hill, carrying a cross to His place of execution. I reject this vision. He speaks to us:
‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.’
The Choice
And now I struggle against myself. Here I stand, so close to my Lord and yet facing a loss so total that it is like losing the world.
I cannot bear this loss.
He says,
‘What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?’
It is beyond me, Lord. I cannot bear to see this shameful death. I cannot hear these words.
He warns me.
‘if anyone is ashamed of me and my words … the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when He comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.”
I do not know how it can be possible to bear what will come, but as long as I keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, I can believe it will be possible. I am in torment Lord, my soul cries, out of the depths.’
The Coming Kingdom
Jesus turns his gaze on me and says,
‘Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see that the kingdom of God has come with power.’
