I have always been a fierce competitor in practically everything I do. I think I get my competitive nature from being the second-born and always feeling the need to overachieve. When I competed, I competed to win. In my mind, only those at the top were true winners and remembered. Any place other than first was unacceptable. Phrases like “the most important thing is not to win, but to participate” were, to me, simply ways for losers to feel better.
Once, I played a semifinal game and played great. But in the final minute, the guy I was guarding ran past me and hit a perfect three-point shot. We lost, did not advance to the finals, and I felt that we had lost because of me. I was devastated.
That same night, I was leaving for a four-day retreat with a group from my Church. The person leading the retreat, whom I greatly respected and considered a spiritual mentor, noticed that I was down and asked what was wrong. I told him I hated losing more than anything and could not stand the idea of not playing for first place.
Loser
He looked at me and said something like this: “Those whose lives are rooted in God can be happy even in the last places.” Then he pointed to the crucifix: “Do you see Him? Don’t you see that, from a human standpoint, Jesus was a loser? Don’t you see that the way to heaven was opened by what, according to the values of this world, was a defeat? We are following one who took the last place so that we could receive the first place in heaven. Courage!”
I still had the bitter taste of having lost the game, but his words gave me a perspective on life that I needed and that I have come to see as deeply true and valuable. In the first reading, St. Paul strongly affirms that those who are called by the Lord can experience freedom and joy, even in the last places.
St. Paul describes what the life of an Apostle called to follow Christ is meant to be. Such a life would not appeal to someone like me, who was focused on occupying the first places and being a winner according to the standards of this world. Instead, St. Paul shows that the life of those called to follow the Lord and manifest His life to the world—including us, as Baptized Christians and sharers in the fruits of the Gospel—is almost the complete antithesis of the values of this world.
Last of All
He says that we have been called “to be the last of all, like people sentenced to death.” “We are fools, we are weak, and we are held in disrepute,” but always on account of Christ. “When ridiculed, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we respond gently.” When I read this “manifesto” of Christian life, I cannot help but admire and desire the freedom of St. Paul, who considers the honor, recognition, and status of this world as rubbish compared with sharing in Christ’s life. Having encountered the risen Christ and sharing in His life gives St. Paul the freedom to experience real joy and fulfillment even in the last places.
I am sure that many of you, like me, either consciously or subconsciously, live believing that it is necessary to “make it” in this world in order to be happy. We are constantly exposed to the compelling idea that only those at the top can truly enjoy life. The values of this world tell us that life is for those who triumph, stand out, and measure up to standards of perfection and worth imposed by society and, many times, by ourselves.
Not Measuring Up
Many of us have experienced the frustration and disappointment of not measuring up. We may feel like losers, that we are not good enough, or that we are worthless because we have not achieved perfection. For all of us, the words of St. Paul are great news and a deep consolation.
Today’s readings invite us to see that when we encounter the love of Christ and become aware of our calling to follow Him, the values of this world can be turned upside down. When, like St. Paul, we see that we are called to follow One who made Himself the last of the last, who descended completely in status, position, and rank, and who accepted defeat in order for us to win—all out of love for us—we can experience joy even in failure, defeat, and the last places.
Because it is there that we can meet Him.
Courage!!
