I was bought off, bought for a huge sum of money – but I no longer know what to do with the lie. I relived that night, and my mind is in turmoil.
The days that led to it were dreadful The work of stripping a man of all humanity is long, hard, and demeaning from start to finish. It seemed to me that meting out that punishment, even to the lowest criminal, is even more humiliating to the perpetrator than to the slave who is hanging upon the cross.
In the end I perceived myself and my companions as debased inhuman tormentors who would never be free of the sights and smells of that day. There would never be any more beauty or tenderness in life. I admitted to many moments of fear during my military service but in what was to follow, my soul melted in terror. Nothing could have prepared me for the experience in that garden.
The Night
We would never have slept on duty. The punishment for that was death. So, though that night’s duty was an easy one, I was fully awake as dawn approached, close to the tomb. Nothing surprised me about our task. It was just another strange duty: guarding a dead man. We did not foresee any difficulty. The night followed a sabbath when a day of suffering had become a night and day of utter quiet. No one approached. We expected the usual party of women to arrive at dawn, to do their task with the body, after waiting for the end of sabbath, but no one would come near in the night. The tomb was completely secure, barred by a huge stone that only a group of strong men could move. Everything was under control.
As night moved on the silence grew deeper. Not a creature moved and there was no breath of air. Then, as dawn approached, I began to hear my own heart beating in the stillness. A cloud rose up on the horizon. The stars faded as they came closer and then, from within the deep silence, a sound arose. It was so deep that I felt it as a vibration within my chest and then there came a low rumble like distant thunder, the ground began to tremble, and then to shift beneath us, thunder rolled above us, we staggered and fell to our knees as the earth shook. A white bird flew up and what we heard and saw then would never leave me.
Dazzling is the Night
The great stone over the tomb began to shift on its own. As it moved away the light within was so bright that we were blinded for minutes after. It was a white light, exceeding the sun at noon and it seemed as though it shimmered with every power conceivable (and some which were inconceivable). We cried out in terror and then, all strength was lost, we fainted away.
When I roused from that dead faint, I saw my companions staggering to their feet, pale and shocked. Marcus told us that a party of women had come to the tomb and shortly afterwards hurried away, crying out with joy. Three of us raced back to the city then to report to the chief priests.
Instructions and a Bribe
Faced with three soldiers, ghastly pale, and mirroring in our eyes the light which had filled that tomb, telling of a stone which rolled back seemingly on its own, they could see the truth of our account and they were appalled. It did not take long for them to return to us with our instructions and a bribe. So, we were to tell the lie, that we slept, and his disciples came and stole his body, a lie which time would surely expose. And so, it has. And I who told the lie have no doubt that Jesus, whose dead body lay in that tomb is alive.
I love this reflection! Thank you.