Our religious life is based on our presumed knowledge of God. This knowledge can make us humble, but it can also make us very arrogant. The arrogance comes to the fore when we forget that our natural human limitations make it difficult for us to have a perfect knowledge of God. The fact is that all of our knowledge of Him remains imperfect. Despite this limited knowledge, we often find people persecuting others or even killing them because they feel all they know of God is all there is to know. Real conversion and maturity in faith begins when one is able to ask God, “Who are You, Lord?” This is a central question in the account of the conversion of St. Paul, which is celebrated today.
Saul, who later became Paul, thought he knew God because of his grounding in the Jewish traditions. In his zeal, he embarked on the religious mission of eliminating all adherents of the new Christian faith, as their belief system did not rhyme with his presumed understanding of who God was. But his theological conviction underwent a somersault as he encounters Jesus on the famous road to Damascus. The light from heaven and the mysterious voice that called him by name all took him unawares: “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” (Acts 9:4; 22:7). It was a moment of light, a moment of humility, a moment of truth. Saul entered into crisis, and in his perplexity, he humbly threw the question: “Who are you, sir?” Then, there came the bombshell: “I am Jesus, the Nazarene, whom you are persecuting” (Acts 22:8; cf. 9:5).
Saul never imagined in his whole life as a Jewish religious champion that he could be accused of opposing God. We recall the words of the wise Rabbi Gamaliel to the Jewish supreme council, the Sanhedrin: “So in the present case, I tell you, keep away from these men and let them alone; because if this plan or this undertaking is of human origin, it will fail; but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them– in that case you may even be found fighting against God!” (Acts 5:38-39). Saul never heeded this piece of advice as he was convinced he knew the ways of God. He had forgotten the famous words of Scripture which he often read: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isa 55:8-9).
Now, with this unexpected encounter on the road to Damascus, Saul comes to his senses. The realization that he was all along opposing God’s ways knocks him to a new consciousness. That statement from Jesus cuts him to the deep. At this point he surrenders: “What must I do, sir?” Saul, who thought he knew more than the followers of Jesus, now asks for guidance. He enters Damascus blind, showing that he needs the new movement to get real sight.
Sometimes we pretend to see when we are really blind. It is only when a big challenge presents itself that our real blindness becomes visible. There is always a need to subject to serious questioning all those religious convictions that make us to hate, despise or to be intolerant of other human beings. Every time we pose the question, “Who are You, Lord?”, we develop a new frame of mind just as we experience new divine illumination that helps us to readjust and to realize that we are yet travelers and fellow travelers on the road to fuller knowledge of God.
