Persevere even if not Affirmed

Today’s reflection concerns a Christian response when expected affirmation isn’t forthcoming. I draw from the Blessed Lord’s rejection by his relatives in Nazareth and highlight perseverance (Hebrew 12:4-7, 11-14). Finally, we learn that even when we don’t receive the affirmation we think we deserve, the Lord uses everything to train us. Consequently, we receive the strength to endure much worse days and grow virtuously.

There is a famous experience in the professional world that a consultant who comes fifty miles away is always seen as the best. This is even if the person is less qualified than local experts. Because those around us seem too ordinary, we tend to show less appreciation for their expertise. This isn’t new. It is part of the human condition.

The Lord’s Wasn’t Affirmed on Earth

From the get-go, the Blessed Lord came to his own, who did not welcome him (John 1:11). He was born in a manger (Luke 2:7). Yet, the king wanted him gone (Matthew 2:16). From the get-go, he did miracles in plain sight and yet they said it was magic. They accused him of doing miracles through the power of the prince of demons (Matthew 12:24).

As a child of twelve, Jesus astounded the wise teachers in the temple with his extraordinary insight (Luke 2: 46). As an adult, he spoke with the eloquence of scholars and superior rabbis. The city’s ordinary people were moved. But, the decision-makers were upset at his wit and framed it as a deceptive oratory (John 7:47).

He was not what many expected of the Messiah, and yet he is. When his followers wanted to crown him king and make him the symbol of their idealized self—or should I say, make him their idolized self—he walked away from it all (John 6:15). He wasn’t afraid to lose anyone’s loyalty, insofar as it wasn’t a loyalty that takes him to the cross (Matthew 16:23).

He came to Nazareth. Their description of him was, “is he not a carpenter…?” It was the only place in the entire Scripture where Jesus was reminded he was born of a carpenter. In their mind, they sealed his destiny—a carpenter.

Of course, that is the only place where the story of Jesus’ family (and poor) background was a thing. Elsewhere, nobody cares, just like in the bigger scheme of things, nobody really cares if you were born in the house of a prince or a pauper. What matters is who you are. The best part is who God has made you become. Period.

Seeking Affirmation?

If the Blessed Lord was seeking affirmation, he would have been crushed. But he wasn’t. From this, we learn a great lesson about approaching life. Everything the Lord does is a lesson.

In a world where virtues such as courage and humility are less trendy, the heart seeks affirmation not from the Lord but from people—family, friends, co-workers, and the world around us. We seek it from likes, shares, and comments on social media and shouting praises on WhatsApp. Sometimes, when those don’t come, we are crushed. But why should we be?  

Worse is a situation where all your effort to put in the work and make your family, friend, or co-worker succeed is treated as trash. Yet, they praise those who do far less than you.

You wonder why nobody notices. You come home, and your family does the same. They take your best pieces of advice and praise another person for them. They celebrate a friend who achieved far less than you, yet no one seems to notice you passed that achievement level a long time ago, and there was no acknowledgment from your loved ones. You wonder, what is going on? Your spouse doesn’t notice, either.

The Lord is Training You to Endure

You don’t realize that the Lord is molding your heart for the better. The Lord is providing for you what you need to stand firm in a world that seeks affirmation and does not seek the Lord’s endorsement.

From the saints, we know this truth. They learned it from the Lord. “The Lord disciplines those He loves” (Hebrew 12:6).

Learn this vital lesson. If you can win over the legitimate pleasure of receiving praise for your accomplishments, you can win over sinful pleasure. But how can you “struggle against sin to the point of shedding your blood” (Hebrew 12:4) when you haven’t willingly accepted to let go of legitimate pleasures because the Lord desires it? If you can’t give up what you have power over, how do you expect you would have the willpower to overcome the sin lurking at the door?  

Don’t get me wrong. Affirmation is good when it comes. But it isn’t the end game.

No one has ever overcome themselves who has not willingly given up what is theirs. Victory over the self is a battle that goes beyond victory over what we dislike but over what we really like. Grace helps us do this.

I confess this message might not be the darling of worldly ways. Yet, in the paradox of divine discipline, the following rings true. “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor lose courage when you are punished by him. For the Lord disciplines him whom he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives” (Hebrew 12:5-6).

I pray the Lord will keep us secure, strengthening our will, minds, and hearts to carry the cross and follow him daily. Amen.

(Readings: Hebrew 12:4-7, 11-15; Mark 6:1-6)

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