What Does the Priest Think During Confession? In my life as a priest, a question that I get asked, usually by a nervous penitent, is “what are you thinking as I confess my sins?” “Do you remember my sins?” Fair questions and maybe similar to the ones that I had when I was young. If I run into that priest later, is he going to be looking at me with eyes of judgement and disdain because of my sins?
A priest knows that he is working in the person of Christ. What attracts the heart of Christ? Children who in their simplicity desire to be held and blessed by him. A publican who recognized his unworthiness and stayed in the back of the temple beating his breast, have mercy on me a sinner. The woman who was hemorrhaging for 12 years and just desired to reach out and touch the hem of Jesus’ garment. Bartimaeus, who, in faith, left behind his earthly securities and the groans of the crowd telling him to be quiet by calling out the name of Jesus to help him. These are the people that attract the heart of Jesus. The priest is attracted by the souls that humbly recognize their need for God in their lives. They are right where Jesus wants them to be when they courageously step into the confessional.
Forgive
Do I remember sins? I could, but I’m not there to remember. I’m there to forgive. I sit there so that people can experience the loving mercy of Jesus in their lives. Afterall, I also need God’s reconciling mercy in my own life through the reception of the same sacrament in the same way as everyone else. Let he who has no sin cast the first stone, words of Jesus that resound in my heart.
I see a soul striving to be transformed by the tender embrace of Jesus. I see a soul that knows that Christ’s love is the most important thing in life, and it is reaching out for help. Sometimes I can see the penitent and sometimes I can’t, but how often the sighs of relief I hear of burdens being lifted bring a smile to my face.
Humility
I see a soul striving to live a holy life. It is not easy to step into the confessional. The humility of walking in is a gift in and of itself. And here this person is! Even if the last confession was yesterday or 40 years ago, Jesus is making a saint out of this person. Living a holy life is not easy and the holier we become the more reliant upon Jesus we become, not less.
I am amazed. When I thought of being a priest certainly confession was not part of the dream but some of my most beautiful moments as a priest have taken place in that small box.
