In a previous year, I shared Saint Alphonsus’s unique contributions to moral theology through his teachings on God’s will and love. Today, I extend that conversation by dwelling on love.
Imagine completing a puzzle, only to find a piece missing or discovering a cherished heirloom slightly damaged. It feels incomplete. That’s often how our understanding of love can be—lacking its core.
Love is frequently seen as a physical attraction, like owning a high-performance car but never taking it out of the garage. Sometimes, it’s viewed as a mutual agreement to be in a relationship as long as emotional, economic, or other social needs are met. Or it’s reduced to the simple notion of “love is love,” which misses the deeper meaning of true love and sacrifice.
True love is not just about fulfilling personal desires; it’s about reality, the Holy, beyond us. Saint Alphonsus Liguori, a profound spiritual guide, teaches us that love is more than a fleeting attraction; it involves aligning our hearts with God’s will. This ‘true love’ is a divine and selfless form of love, not to be confused with the more common forms of love we encounter in our daily lives.
The Essence of Love
Love, like a fine wine, is complex and enriching. It’s not just about physical attraction, but a blend of emotional and spiritual depth. Saint Alphonsus Liguori, who left a promising career in law to become a priest, shows us that true love is a divine combination of selflessness, sacrifice, and affection, reflecting God’s unconditional love for us. This transformative power of love inspires hope and a deeper understanding of its essence, namely God himself, for “God is love” (I John 4:8).
True love goes beyond mere sensual attraction. It is the outpouring of oneself in response to God’s outpouring of Godself for all. It is a radically grace-led life, for to love in the manner of God’s love is possible by God’s grace. In such love, there is no condemnation. As Romans reminds us, there is “no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” because “the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has freed you from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:1-2).
True love, as Saint Alphonsus teaches, is not about self-gratification. It’s about humility, seeing in others the need to be seen and known through the lens of divine will. True love drives us to prioritize the needs of others, finding God’s presence in them. It requires shifting our priorities for the sake of divine will, drawing us closer to what Jesus did on the cross—offering grace to those who may not deserve it, inviting them to become complete in him rather than begone from him. This emphasis on selflessness invokes a sense of humility and introspection.
Love is the Purest of All
Love is as clear as a diamond, its purity shining through our words, thoughts, and actions. True love doesn’t see what it can gain from others but seeks to serve them according to God’s will. It is not fogged by the dirt of ego; instead, the crispness of divine light that shines to those who want to see God in all things propels it. It moves with a palpable pulse of purity and the acceptance to say, “Lord, I come to do your will” (Psalm 40:7-8).
In doing God’s will, Saint Alphonsus finds the essence of divine power in the soul, for to love is to will as God wills. This means walking a path guided by grace, living according to the divine plan, much like the call in the Responsorial Psalm, treasuring the divine promise (Psalm 119:11). This emphasis on aligning with God’s will makes us feel guided and reassured in our journey of love. Love can sometimes be messy, but knowing we have a guide in the Divine will, which anchors it, encourages us.
Coloring Love with Sacrifice
To love is to make and embrace sacrifices. It’s not just about what we offer but about becoming what God desires, even if it means stepping out of our comfort zone. True love involves carrying the cross and sacrificing personal desires for the greater good. It also entails embracing the embarrassment that might come with it, for the embarrassment brings out our humanity. Our humanity, with its imperfections, becomes what we offer back to Him who perfects us in His love.
It might mean taking spittle as Christ did and offering a smile in return (Isaiah 53:3-5). Love upturns the human sense of justice and does not carry the air of superiority. Feeling triumphant isn’t its objective any more than feeling broken is its settled abode. Instead, it seeks a balance grounded in humility and strength, finding contentment in the journey of faith.
True love breaks every record of the norm in so far as the norm is a breakaway from Divine Will. It dares to be different, even if being different means daily death by installment. For dying to oneself and living for others is one coming closer to purer love. It might mean following a seemingly less prestigious career path because God’s will is the alternative, as Saint Alphonsus did. Or it might mean letting go of a beloved child so they can pursue their own path. Saint Alphonsus sacrificed his leadership role in the Redemptorist Order, an organization he founded, to follow God’s purpose. Ultimately, it’s about willingly accepting the grace invitation to step aside so God’s work in us can follow its course. This path, though difficult, is ultimately rewarding, as nothing surpasses the outcome of true love.
Brush Strokes of Humility
True love isn’t about grand gestures or seeking recognition, either; it’s about quietly being there for others when it matters most. According to Saint Alphonsus, humility and simplicity are true markers of love. Humility in love means putting others’ needs above our own, like volunteering our time even when busy. It’s not about making headlines but about consistent acts of kindness—such as listening to a friend in need or offering support without expecting anything in return.
The Gospel highlights the importance of being “the salt of the earth” and “the light of the world” (Matthew 5:13-14). True love shines as a light, guiding others through our good deeds, which glorify our Heavenly Father.
Applying the Colors of Saint Alphonsus’ Love Today
How may we lead through love in a world where impression management of self through our images online takes on a new form of radical self-love? How may we seek the face of Christ through our gazes?
It starts with introspection—are we loving for self-gratification, or are we loving selflessly? Are we willing to prioritize meaningful connections over superficial ones? Are we ready to wear off the mask of pretense and embrace the embarrassment of vulnerable love in the palms of Him who loves us so much and is prepared to show us how to love?
Saint Alphonsus Liguori’s concept of love goes beyond superficial attraction and self-interest, offering a deeper, more textured understanding. His teachings remind us to embody the qualities of sacrifice, humility, and care for others. His wisdom offers a richer palette to create a beautiful and meaningful expression of love in a world that often presents a shallow view of love.
If you’re ready to deepen your understanding of true love and align your life, we have many models such as Saint Alphonsus, to follow. Saint Alphonsus Liguori, pray for us to cultivate a loving world. Amen. May we love as Christ loves us. Amen.
[Readings, for the Day: Jeremiah 15:10, 16-21;Matthew 13:44-46. For the Saint: 1 Corinthians 10:31-11:1; Luke 14:25-33]
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