A number of years ago, a young girl recounted her fascination with ripped jeans. She had her own pair she bought for full price at Target. It baffled her brother as to why someone would go to the store and pay good money for a pair of ripped jeans.
“But they’re in, they’re very in!” she would exclaim.
“Isn’t that what happens when you kneel on the ground too many times? You get ripped jeans?” he would respond.
“But this is different!”
“And they are popular? People really like them?”
“Oh yes! It is the latest trend. People will pay handsomely for a pair.”
Except for special occasions, she was never without those jeans. And she had not one or two pairs, but three! Alas, her brother remained baffled. How could ripped jeans ever be fashionable?
Sin
Well, so often we can have that same attitude toward our own sins. We treat them like they are a pair of “ripped jeans.” To everyone else around us, they could never be fashionable, but to us, they mean the world!
And it is the sort of attitude that we encounter in today’s Gospel. We watch a young man approach Jesus. He seems to be an honest man, a man with a good heart. He asks what he must do to inherit eternal life (Mk 10:17). Not a bad place to start.
Jesus runs through the Jewish checklist of the Do’s and Don’ts for obeying God’s law. The man has fulfilled them all. Not bad.
But then time seems to pause for a moment to let Jesus gaze at the man and love him, as if Jesus is now ready to take the man seriously. And he does as he says, “You are lacking in one thing. Go, sell what you have, and give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me” (Mark 10:21).
God has spoken. But the man refuses.
When we read the passage, it says, “At that statement, his face fell, and he went away sad, for he had many possessions” (Mark 10:22). Jesus offered the man the gaze of God and the man turned his face away. He loved his “ripped jeans.” To everyone else (including all us onlookers), his possessions seemed superfluous, but to the man, those were his “ripped jeans.” They were his everything. To give them up would mean going out of fashion and surrendering what he loved.
Critical Eye
When I have read this Gospel passage, I can so often have a critical eye toward that man. I can so often distance myself from the Gospel imagining it as somehow unrelated to my own life. But the more I read it, the more I realize how much I am that rich young man.
To each of us, Jesus offers His gaze. To each of us, Jesus offers His love. To each of us, he pauses briefly before speaking as if to say, “Do you really want eternal life?”
The man wanted Jesus. We want Jesus. Otherwise, he would not have gone to all that trouble of running up and kneeling before Jesus and only causing everyone to look at him. How many times do we get excited about prayer and Jesus? All the time. But when Jesus really takes us seriously, we often look away. We treat our sins like that pair of “ripped jeans.” We expect we can still “wear” them and follow Jesus. “Jesus, ask for anything else and I’ll do it, but not that.” But that’s why Jesus looks at us with love. He wants everything. When we choose our way over His, He knows we will always end up sad.
Unconscious Expectations
In the few years of my Christian life, I have discovered that often my lack of connection with Jesus comes from a list of unconscious expectations or a mindset that I impose upon Jesus. I expect Him to fill my cup in the way that I want it filled. “Jesus, I want a large grande, two pumps of vanilla cream, a sprinkle of cinnamon, and a pinch of raw sugar. And if I cannot have those two pumps, and especially that pinch of raw sugar, then I won’t be happy because Jesus, I KNOW.”
But it may be a good practice to return to the Gospel and remind us that we are not talking to only a good teacher. We are talking to God. We are talking to the one who formed us in our mother’s womb and knows us through and through. He knows when we rise and when we lie down. Even before a word is on my tongue, he knows it all (Psalm 139:2,4,13).
What expectation will we surrender to Jesus today? What pair of “ripped jeans” will it be?
Fabulous reflection. I really appreciated the visual imagery. I wear ripped jeans, their rip not apparent to others who see a regular appearance. Perhaps that is worse as friends might think me better than I really am. God Bless.